This last week has been gruesome. Paulie and I have been settling into a not-so-fun sleeping pattern. He's been more awake and alert during the day, but still sleeping too. But some how we've managed to be on opposite schedules. I haven't been able to fall asleep when he does or soon after, so that by the time I fall asleep he's starting to wake up again. He's so sweet and to watch him sleep is such a gift, but he's getting older, bigger, and his personality is showing through more and more. I want to have the energy to be awake when he is! I want to be reading him more story books, showing him the pictures and watch him absorb it all. And I'd like to be more than just awake for all of this. *sigh* I've had many people tell me that they can watch him for me, and sometimes I do. It's only for a short time though. I have a breastpump, and I've been pumping. The only problem... he just doesn't take a bottle. He has once, but that's been about it. He also won't take a pacifier. I never wanted him to be on the bottle, or formula, but occassionly is okay. I suppose if I keep trying, he'll figure it out. I just don't always have the patience for it and I feel bad that he struggles so much with it. Oh well. I know he'll get it some day.
So I sleep when I can and eat when I can. But that's another thing. I never feel like I have enough energy to make food... and on the weekends, it's the worst. I'm up all night making sure that Paul doesn't wake up Jerry that I literally don't get to sleep in my own bed until Jerry wakes up for work. And that's if Paul keeps sleeping. So then, Jerry works all day and is beat by the time he gets home, and I'm still feeling like I hardly slept and don't have anything ready for either of us to eat and neither of us has the energy to make food.
I don't know... I think that we've been figuring it out okay. I mean, it's not like we don't eat. It just feels like a lot more work than it normally was, used to be, and should be.
I'm not sure if I posted this already, but we've got Paul's crib together and it looks great! He hardly sleeps in it though. He's with me while I'm awake... most of the time, and next to me in my bed the other times. He will lay in his crib for a while and sleep, but once he gets up and I need to feed him, I've hardly the energy to put him back. More often than not he'll cry when I put him back, and I think it's because he knows he's not next to me anymore. It makes me sad to make him sad like that. I guess I should say, i think he's getting better about it though. Just... slowly.
His next check up will be in a couple of weeks. Then we will have an official amount of how much he's gained in weight and length.